Monday, October 24, 2011

Negativity and Self-Doubt

So I was talking to Corey last night, and he was feeling really bad about the fact that he didn't run the half-marathon. He said his knee was feeling good on Saturday so he really thought he could have run it. I, of course, as the outsider, know this is ridiculous. The last long run we did-- only a week ago!-- ended with me having to run home to get the car because he could barely walk. I reminded him of that but know it doesn't really help too much. I am no stranger to self-doubt, either. Whenever my times get better, I am guilty of thinking things like, "I probably haven't really improved; I've just learned to persevere and keep going." (As if that was a bad thing!). Even worse, I am REALLY bad about qualifying my times by saying things like, "Yeah, I ran a half-marathon, but it was really slow." Or, "I'm planning for a marathon in the spring but I won't be running it fast."

The problem with comments like these is that not only do they take away from my accomplishments, they also hurt others. I've been on the receiving side of these comments, too, where people say, "I'm sooooo slow" and they're clearly much faster than me. It stings, even though I know they're doing the same thing I'm doing--- essentially saying, "Yeah, I run, but I'm not a real runner. Please don't set your expectations too high for me because you'll be disappointed." What if we all agreed not to do this and were just our own biggest cheerleader? Not only in running, but in everything? I hate to be Blogger McPositivity and all, but I'm really going to try not to do it anymore. I know I've improved and I refuse to qualify that with a, "but I'm still not that good." It takes away from any work that I've done to get to where I am and the sad thing is, it probably would never stop, no matter how much faster I ever get! And this isn't true only for running- it's really true for all of us, no matter what we do.

I'm off to Boston this afternoon for a work conference where I'll reunite with several of my work friends. :) Looking forward to it! There's also a conference 5k walk/run on Wednesday that should be fun. Hope everyone  has a great week!

P.S. I realized I didn't define "PR" in my last post for all my non-running readers. Here you go! PR

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